Rebekah and Jacob’s Plot

Rebekah is far away from me – from what I want for my own children. She preferred the one son over the other. As did Isaac.

“The older shall serve the younger.” She heard it. An alternative narrative. She was for the underdog. There is so much here. The dangerous inevitability of imposing my story onto someone else.

Isaac’s preference is for Esau – he is the first born. But then, Ishmael was also first born.

In a minute Jacob will steal the blessing. He already owns the birthright. Twice in two generations the primogenitor rights have failed to pass to the eldest.

Expectations of what , from my perspective, “should be” distorts my sense of justice and equity. My mind is no longer deliberate and focused. It’s only an anticipation. Not actually present I am controlled by the future projection of the suffering and indignity of my lack. I grieve the death of the story that I thought would be.

And so I feel the pressure to scratch and to grab after those things that should clearly and obviously be mine.