Intimacy and Secrecy

 

Synopsis     1Sam 20:13-24     10/11/2018

David and Jonathan discussed a simple test to determine whether or not Saul was definitively trying to kill David. So, the test involved David deliberately missing an important feast at the king’s table. And, they both agreed that if Saul was irrationally irritated at David’s absence, this was evidence of his ill will toward David.

Then, Jonathan made David vow to never disown Jonathan, his family, or any of his descendants. It’s clear that Jonathan wanted David’s assurance that his family would thrive, even if he did not live into old age. David readily agreed.

After that, Jonathan made a secret code that he told to David. Then, Jonathan promised to communicate the outcome of his test using this code. As a result, David looked forward to knowing for certain if Saul intended to kill him.

The Friendship of Jonathan and David

So, Jonathan and David were friends. And there was no good thing that Jonathan would not do for a friend.

But this was no ordinary situation. For Jonathan was pitted between two critical relationships. On the one hand, Saul was king. What’s more, Saul was ordained by God to this appointed position. And, he was anointed by Samuel to this vocation. Both Jonathan and David feared the Lord. Neither would conspire against His chosen king.

On the other, it was his dear friend David. And Jonathan loved David. And Jonathan could see that God had also anointed David’s life.

What’s remarkable in the common run of ancient literature is the lack of intrigue. All the evidence points to David really wanting reconciliation with Saul. Clearly, David wanted to remain in the service of the king. David was loyal. And Jonathan also wanted David to remain in his father’s service. There was no hint of Machiavellian intrigue. There was no plotting or conspiring. So it was –  a pure yet tragic friendship.

Intimacy and Secrecy

Best friends trust each other with the most sensitive kinds of information. A secret doesn’t necessarily mean there is some evil thing to hide. Still, the reality of most people’s experience is that self-revealing is uncomfortable and potentially dangerous. So when a friend share’s something they would not share with the larger community, the secret protects that intimate disclosure.

This is why a true friend has the ability to keep a secret. Friendship is about acceptance and love. This means accepting the other as they are – as they have revealed themselves. And it means wanting and working for the best for that other person.

“A friend is a friend at all times, and a brother is born for the time of adversity” Prov 17:17